Sunday, September 8, 2013

"Does someone's drinking bother you"?


One of the public service announcements for Al-Anon says,


"Are you bothered by someone's drinking?

I always laugh when I hear that. When you live with someone with active alcoholism or addiction it is a little more than being  "bothered".

BOTHERED  is a fly that won't go away!

BOTHERED is slow traffic!

BOTHERED is poor service at a restaurant!

When you live with active addiction you are slightly more than


There are days you feel like you are losing your mind. There are days you think  that the most logical thing to do is to just get in your car and keep driving.
When something is bothering you, you know that the way you are feeling will go away, and that in a few minutes or maybe even hours you will go back to feeling normal again.
When you are living in active addiction you become consumed with someone else's behavior. You live in constant fear of what the next knock on the door or phone call will mean.
There IS no relief from the fear and worry that rules your every waking moment. When you live with active addiction it feels as if you have fallen into a dark hole and can find no way out.
 Each day more and more dirt is piled on top of you and you fear that one day you will just die,
 alone on the floor of this cold, dark hole.
But you hold on...
You wake up to another day
and you are still alive
The dirt keeps piling on,
 and you keep doing the next indicated thing and slowly,
one day your eyes open,
and you see that you are no longer at the bottom of that dark hole.
 There is warm sunshine on your face,
you can see the blue sky and hear the birds chirping.
YOU stand up and see that
All that dirt that piled up around you
has filled in the hole and you can



Friday, September 6, 2013

Better Days Ahead

There is a moment when you decide to stop fighting and accept what is. A moment when you can finally see that all your attempts to beg, plead, lecture, and force your solutions on the addict have not changed the situation. There is a moment when you can see clearly for the first time that you
It's as if you suddenly find yourself behind the wheel of a sailboat on unfamiliar waters. At first you are frightened and unsure that you will know what to do or which way to turn. Slowly you relax and you begin to feel the warm sun on your face, the cool breeze blowing your hair. Your eyes focus on the horizon as you feel your heart race with the excitement of what is ahead.
 You never, ever forget what you left behind but you accept that you
and you pray that one day your past and your present lives will converge again but for today you make the life you have been given the very best life you can.