Sunday, August 19, 2012

COUNTING THE BLESSINGS OF RECOVERY

Each day of sobriety brings an awakening!

It's fun to watch as the miracles of recovery heal the damage addiction has created!

Daily task most of us, "normies"take for granted,  small signs that the addict is learning to live life on lifes terms!

One day our son called and asked his dad to cash his paycheck for him,. ( the credit union he had joined a few years back did not have a branch in the city our son was living in)

My husband said  he wouldn't be able to help until the next day.

About an hour later our son called his dad back and said, "it's OK dad, I went to a bank and opened an account!

A big surprise to both of us! A sign that he is healing,
he had a problem and found a solution
WITHOUT OUR HELP!

BUT also a reminder to us that we need to give him the opportunities he needs to figure things out for himself. An awakening for him but also for us! 

Other little signs

Joining a gym
Spending a day off at the beach!
Calling someone in the program when he is finding himself isolating!
Rearranging his work schedule so that he can attend his "home group" meetings
Making amends!
Spending time with family!
Sending notes of love and encouragement to loved ones!
Asking friends and family how THEY are doing!

Things we "normies" take for granted!


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Kathie Lee Gifford quote

 and express their disappointment with Kathie Lee Gifford’s comment in Sept 2012′s Family Circle magazine http://www.familycircle.com/teen/parenting/celebrity-parents/kathie-lee-gifford/ regarding those of us who did not do a good job parenting, thus raised a child that attend rehab.
I hope every person that visits my blog or facebook page will go to the Family Circle facebook page, or Kathie Lee's page
Family Circle
Q. Got a family tradition you’d like the kids to pass down?
Kathie Lee Gifford
A. We had a sunset alert at home where we stopped everything to watch it. After I’m gone, I hope my kids and their kids will keep watching the sun go down and think of me every time.
I’m not a perfect mom, but my kids haven’t been arrested, in rehab or kicked out of school, so I must be doing something right!
Does this mean that those of us with addict children were sub par parents or did something wrong?
I am not sure if your comments will be deleted but let her know that having an addict in the family is not about poor parenting!
Advocate people! Fight for your child’s right! Post intelligently without personally attacking her! Educate her fans…
peace and strength

Kathie Lee Gifford's comments in Family Circle

Dear Kathie Lee,
You have started an uproar in the addiction community my friend. Do you know how many addicts believe they came from "good homes?"  Do you know how many addicts were raised  by parents who instilled morals and values in their lives? Do you know how many addicts were once atheletes, honor students, valedictorians, and had plans to attend college? Do you know how many young adults from so called "good homes" become addicted to drugs each day?  Do you know how many families have been shattered by addiction? Apparently not. Ms. Gifford, I am the parent of two children I love and adore. I dedicated my life to being the best mother I could be. My children were both raised in a two parent family by parents who were very present in their lives. My children were very involved in sports, dance and extracurricular activites and their father and I were always present. We both volunteered in their classrooms from the time they entered preschool. My children were taught values and morals, they attended church services weekly. They had a balance of love and discipline in their lives.  If you ask my children they BOTH say, "I had the best parents."
My son became addicted to drugs at a very young age. His father and I did all that we could to stop the progression of his addiction but it has taken 10 years for him to be able to celebrate a year in recovery. My daughter is a beautiful young woman raising 4 amazing children. I am very proud of both of my children and I consider myself a "good parent" even though my son HAS been to jail, and HAS gone to rehab. You came off sounding very pompous. I believe you just don't understand the nature of addiction. It certainly is not about "good parenting".